:(

When little, insignificant drawbacks appear in my life, why am I always so easily upset or thrown into an emotional state of mind?

When the ends don't reflect the means,

Do I give more? Or do I just let these setbacks go and continue with the original game plan?

Confused and probably over-reacting,

I am,

twistedshaft.

What a fruitful day!

Today I managed to do a lot of things in such a short day:

I woke up at 9 and spent the whole morning reading GP notes and finishing a GP comprehension.

I then spent my afternoon at the NTU business library and completed 2 Bio papers 1's.

I came home and watched a bit of Rush Hour 3. Also caught a bit of Singapore Idol.

I next set work on doing a Math paper 2 which I stopped halfway cause I couldn't understand the answer to one of the questions.

After spending time on the web, I wrapped up my day by writing a new song.

A new song. Its been so long since I've managed to write one. Had so many tunes but no words to put them too. Finally, at long last, I've penned down a verse and a chorus. The inspiration came from something I've been thinking of doing for quite awhile but I couldn't see it working out. The song is about my musings on the matter, and what I can't seem to bring myself to do.

Sigh. Gotta continue thinking to myself about it. Maybe I'll reach a conclusion when I finish the song. Who knows? I certainly hope so though.

Its getting late. Full day of GP in school tomorrow.

Goodnight. (Or should I say good morning :P)

I am,

twistedshaft.

There is something to post about

I've just finished watching the movie 'P.S. I Love You' and I just had quote this line from the movie that really struck me.

"If we're alone, then we're all to all together in that, too"

~ Patricia, Holly's mother.

I find great solace in that line. Whenever I feel alone, I know that I'm not alone, but just among others who are feeling the same way, and I find great comfort in that.

The movie was good. Haven't watched a movie of that calibre since 'The Notebook'. Really hit the spot, this movie. Got that warm feeling back at the base of my stomach. Kudos to Cecelia Ahern for coming up with such an engaging and heart-warming plot. I was a little turned off initially when I realised that Holly's husband died. I felt that the story couldn't possibly end well anymore. Ah, but it did. It ended splendidly, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

The movie did, however, leave me with unanswered personal questions:

How will I move on with my life if someone close to me does leave this Earth before I do? Will I crumble under the immense grief? Or will I pick myself up like Holly did in the film?

This I'll have to take awhile to figure out.

Off to bed then, gotta get up early for church tomorrow.

I am,

twistedshaft.

There's just nothing better to post about

This post is just going to be full of random stuff so bear with me.

I'm distracted. I want to do so many things, run down so many roads, when all I should be doing is studying. I need a goal, a clear aim to draw motivation and determination from in order to keep me on track. 4 weeks to the A's and I'm still looking for it...

I love GP tuition and lessons. I don't love GP homework and examinations. I find it so enjoyable to learn more about the current affairs and issues in the world around us. I also find it really engaging to be able to debate over numerous social conundrums around us. GP teaches us how to think critically and I like that.

I'm in need of a good movie. No. I'm in dire need of a good movie. I somehow have this urge to feel the warmth in your stomach when a movie ends well, just the way you want it to. Oh well, I'm going to watch one. I heard 'P.S. I Love You' is good. Films based on books have seldom disappointed. Its settled then. I'm going to watch it now on DVD.

Goodnight.

I am,

twistedshaft.

Mobile Phone Theory

Wrap your head around this theory.

There are two types of people in this world. The people who influence others, and the people who are influenced by others. To put it simply. The people who live their own lives, and the people who live their lives based on others.

I have a theory. My hypothesis is that we can tell these two people apart by seeing how they behave around their mobile phones. If you must have your mobile phone beside you at all times and you reply messages immediately after you receive them, you live your life based on others. Hovering above your phone, replying and reacting instantly to the words of others shows that you live your life through the lives of others and that you are affected by whatever they do in their lives. On the flip side, if you are the type of person who loses your phone often and only makes an effort to dig for it when you've got something to say to someone, you're the type of person who lives your life. You friends complain that you take forever to reply but you don't give a hoot, its your life, and you're gonna live it your way, by your own rules.

Well, this is just a theory. I'm sure you'll be able to spot fault lines in my hypothesis but hey, its my life and I'll it the way I wanna. You ain't gonna shape the way I think. LOL:)

I am,

twistedshaft.

Three Years

What does three years mean to you?

Half of your primary school life? Three quarts of your secondary school life? This is from an academic point of view. Three years could also be a short term mission trip to a needy country. It could be the gap between you and your younger sibling. Without a doubt, three years is a long period of time. You can grow quite a bit with three years worth of experience. Three years of life.

I've been thinking lately. How do you measure maturity in a person? Is maturity based on the age of an individual? Or is it based on the experiences one has gone through? I believe with reason that maturity is not completely dependent on age but is heavily dependent on the experiences we encounter in life. Different experiences shape our very soul. They influence the shape our unique and individual character takes as we grow up. For example, a person learns resilience after being through several setbacks in life. When life knocks him down, he picks himself up and thus becomes more resilient to setbacks because of the experience he has gained. Someone of the same age who has had a carefree life would not be able to cope with setbacks as well as this man. Thus, age is not a reliable measure for the maturity in a person. Experience is.

Is it possible then to meet someone younger who shares the same level of maturity as you do? Definitely. Maturity isn't measured by age but by experience. It is indeed possible to find someone who has been through similar experiences as you have in their shorter time on Earth. Cases of people who are more mature than others in their age group are sadly largely women. I guess its was just God's idea to make girls more mature than guys are.

Just some musings of mine. My bed calls me.

I am,

twistedshaft.

Post Prelim Period

The title of this post has plosive alliteration! (I think) Haha! Thats what you get when you've studied too much. Alliteration, I believe, is a term we use in Literature.

Anyway, its been almost a month since I've posted and i've decided to post an update while I'm waiting for a friend to send a document to me for printing.

Life is pretty much just study, watch show, sleep, and the occasional outing to ensure the soul doesn't die away from excessive exposure to study materials. Prelims are over and all thats left to do now is to mug like a dog (quoting a close friend). Shows are what keep me alive. The Mentalist and Family Guy are the shows I'm currently watching these days. Great stuff. Therapeutic to those who feel a little of themselves die inside when they study for too long. Song-writing has hit a brick wall. Can't seem to come up with anything lately. I've been reading articles on the web regarding song-writing but they don't really help much. I guess song-writing is really a very personal thing. A raw expression of emotion through the outlet of music and lyrics. Although some techniques can be taught or learnt, song-writing is a very personal thing, something we have to figure out ourselves.

I've been thinking a lot lately about what I want to do with my future. I want to get into medical school. Being a surgeon has always been the dream job. You get paid for saving lives, for doing something meaningful. What could be better? However, being a doctor comes with many strings attached. The 7 year training period, the 5 year working bond. 12 years... I'll be 30 when I'm done with it all. The job is also hugely demanding. Doctors work long hours. Work hours aren't always within the everyday 9 to 5 that office workers have. People can fall sick at any random time in a day and doctors have to be at the ready at all times. I start to think to myself.

Can I handle this kind of life?

Where I'm a doctor and nothing else. My friends are doctors because I don't have time to maintain friendships with people outside my profession. I practically live in the hospital.

Can I start and support a family under these conditions?

Financial support is pretty much covered, but can I be there for my family when they need me? Will long surgeries replace birthday parties? Or will my multiple patients eventually replace my family members?

Will I enjoy such a life?

A life where holidays are limited. A life filled with mostly work and no play.

So many questions pass through my mind as I look forward into the future as a doctor. To me, it is crucial to know why I want to do something. If I want to be a doctor I need to be sure why I want to be one. Only by being completely sure can I give myself fully over to my goal and work wholeheartedly towards it. My resolve is weakened by uncertainty.

Well, its getting late and I have school later in the morning.

Before I go, I need to pray for someone.

Dear God,

Please bless this someone as she takes an important paper later this morning. She only really wants to pass this paper but I pray that you'll help her complete the paper to the best of her ability. I pray that you grant her peace of mind, a good memory, and I pray that you'll be beside her every step of the way as she pens down her answers. Lord, grant her a quick mind and a quick hand to allow her to pen down everything she has crammed in her head. She has done her part. I pray that Lord you will let her examiners see that.

Once again Lord, calm her senses.

In Jesus name,

Amen

I am,

twistedshaft.

Random musings of today.

Today was pretty uneventful. I was mostly doing chem revision for the entire day. Only really covered about 3 chapters. Not very productive. I kept getting distracted with song-writing. I can't help it! When a tune comes into my head and inspiration hits for possible lyrics I have to drop everything and pick up my guitar. Quickly pen down the lyrics and jam with my guitar, then record it down in Garage Band so I don't forgot what I've just written. If I don't drop everything, whatever I've just thought of would be lost and the inspiration expired. Sigh. Music is both a blessing and a curse.

Anyways, I managed to pen down another verse and pre-chorus to a song I've been working on for the past week. I named it "Weekend Girl". Close dude friends I've been talking to would be able to accurately guess the inspiration behind that song. Been talking about it for most of the past week. Haha:) I only need to wrap up the song up with a verse and a nice outro. Need more material to finish writing this song. Its a work in progress. Gotta see what happens this weekend I guess. I also managed to write the first half of a new song that came to me in the afternoon. This one I tentatively named "Uncertainty". The main idea behind it was how we can never be a 100% sure about the choices and decisions we make in life and how "Uncertainty" can be a real pain in the ass when we hit forks in the road of life. Still waiting to be inspired to write the other parts of the song:)

Have I mentioned that I love song-writing? So much that I'm almost addicted to it? It was one of the reasons why I stopped blogging. Whenever I felt emo or had something I wanted to get out of me I'd pick up my guitar and use those emotions to write a song. They might not all be great songs but at least they help to release cranial pressure, and I get a sense of achievement after using those emotions to create something. Not so emo when I'm done:) To me, song-writing is like story telling. It most of the time incorporates a little poetry and music. Its basically like singing a poem, and its great fun and sometimes frustrating to find words that rhyme or to think of interesting tunes.

I probably should get back to chem:( Also got math tuition tomorrow morning. Sigh. Back to prelim revision.

Maybe i'll post up the lyrics of my songs when I complete them. Digitize them so they'll live forever! Haha:)

I am,

twistedshaft.

I'm Back!

Damn, its been a while. The last post was months ago.

I practically gave up blogging actually. I always say that you only blog when you're full of emotions. Either you're really happy or really emo. Otherwise, they'd be no reason to blog. Nothing interesting to pen (type) down for the world to read. I've recently decided to visit my blog again, just for old times sake and I've realized that my posts have been really emo. So emo that even I was shocked. Haha:) Oh well, I'm back to lighten the tone. To blog when I can. Can't promise my future posts will all be cheery and joyful. Now, that wouldn't be reality, would it? Like I always say and will say again. We only blog when filled with emotions. Blogging is an outlet for all those bottled up emotions and I tend to use this blog for that same purpose.

Here's to more, and hopefully happy posts,

twistedshaft.