Merry Christmas!

I know, I know.
It is kinda late to be doing this, this meaning Christmas wishes. Its already less than an hour away to boxing day, but I'm still gonna go through with it anyway.

Taking a break from the melancholy of the previous lot of posts to acknowledge and celebrate the birth of the baby Jesus who was born on this very day and died years later for the salvation of the sinners of the world, us.
Without him, the punishment of our sins would have been an undeniable, inescapable death coupled with, of course, the bottomless fiery abyss we call Hell.
With him, we have salvation and the promise of a life everlasting with Jesus in Heaven.

Anyway, lets get it over with.

Wishing everyone out there Merry Christmas and a great year ahead!

twistedshaft.
25/12/08
here's hoping you're sitting happy and safe at home smiling to yourself as you gaze at the countless presents encompassing you. be happy. merry christmas.

I didn't know...didn't notice the signs.

Ignorance is bliss?

I don't think so.
At least not for everyone.
It is bliss, true.
But only to the person practicing it.

Time ticks on.
The world moves on.
Everyone moves on.
She moves on.
With or without you.

Ignorance is self-denial.
Disregarding what is true and real.
Living a lie.
Being insensitive to your feelings.
Ignorance ain't bliss.

twistedshaft.
23/12/08
I didn't know, I swear I didn't.

Out of my hands

The silence is unnerving
From the other end of the line
You've closed the door, locking it tight...
The fear of the unknown
Eating at me from the inside out
You keep to yourself, not making a sound...
Everything is set, the surgeon's ready
But where is the patient
Let me help cure your sickness...
I will...
Cure the disease
Take away the pain
Ease the pain
Even if it kills me...

twistedshaft.
20/12/08
help me, to help you...

I Am...

I am distracted.when you smile...
I am happy.when you're happy...
I am relaxed.when you're safe...

I am frustrated.when you close up on me...
I am alone.when you stay silent...
I am confused.when you leave things unexplained...

I am completed.when you're near...

twistedshaft.
19/12/08
I don't regret it, even the least.

Whatever It Takes

A strangled smile fell from your face
It kills me that I hurt you this way
The worst part is that I didn't even know
Now there's a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
Believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes

She said "If we're gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see."
She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me."

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
And give me a break
I'll keep us together, I know you deserve much better

But remember the time I told you the way that I felt
That I'd be lost without you and never find myself
Let's hold onto each other above everything else
Start over, start over

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
and believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes

Lifehouse

twistedshaft.
17/12/08
the words in green, i would say.

Something I can't do alone

I'm looking for something.
Something I can't find alone.
The person behind that brave smile.
I want to do something.
Something I can't do alone.
Turn those frowns upside down.
I want to help someone.
Someone I can't help alone.
Help break down those walls keeping you in.
I want to know someone.
Someone I can't know alone.
Know you inside out.
I want to befriend someone.
Someone I can't befriend alone.
Friends, a two way contract.

I don't want to be moved.
Something no one can make me do.
Unchanging. Constant.

twistedshaft.
17/12/08
you speak, i'll listen. you don't, i won't push further. the world at your pace...

A time for change

I have decided.
Time calls for change.

I am
Selfish.
Insensitive.
Self-absorbed.
Insecure.
Impatient.
And the list continues...

Look where its gotten me...
Nowhere I can call paradise.
That's for sure.

I want to be
Selfless.
Sensitive.
Thoughtful.
Secure.
Patient.
And the list should continue...

I want to say that
I am prepared.
I have prepared everything.
I have planned everything.
Everything's ready.
You're not ready. I respect that. I am ready whenever you are. Ready to venture into the dark abyss to see if there is light beyond the tunnel. Be it a long wait or soon. I will hang on to those last words you said. It is unfinished...
"Next time I guess."

twistedshaft.
14/12/08
ready whenever you are...

And so the bomb drops...

BOOM!
A shockwave fans out.
Building fall.
Fires are started.
Screams rise.
Devastation covered by the beautiful mushroom shaped cloud.
What a beautiful mess it is.

The cascade of emotions.
Helplessness.
Confusion.
Disappointment.
Anger.
Sadness.
Loss.

One by one they fall.
Consuming everything they touch.
Death they do not bring.
But they bring something if death cannot stand next to.

Emptyness.
The never ending abyss.
As you endlessly fall you wonder
What was that mistake?
That lack of judgment that released such a catastrophe.

We'll never know i guess.

twistedshaft.
14/12/08
until unless of course the bomb speaks to us, providing the answers.

she FOLDS

Picture this.
You're sitting at the poker table.
You're holding great cards.
Just from the flop itself you've got the perfect hand in front of you.
You know your chances of winning are really high.
Everyone has folded.
Its just you and one other.
Your gut tells you she stands no chance.
You don't want to scare her away.
You bet small, coaxing her to follow.
You reach the last phase, the river has just ended.
You place your bet, not too big you tell yourself.
She FOLDS.

Don't you hate it when that happens?
You put so much care and effort in molding and crafting your perfect game and it doesn't pull through.
You put your heart into it thinking that nothing could go wrong.
WRONG.
Everything can and will go wrong, in the wise and true words of Murphy.

I did my best I guess.
Tried to keep the bids small to coax the other.
I guess it was too much, too quick, too soon.
I guess that's what happens when you barbecue your satay with a naked flame.
It appears to be cooking fast, yes.
The results come quick.
But inside, the meat remains raw.
The final result, a ruined satay.
And a bad stomach.

twistedshaft.
14/12/08
still hanging on the words you said, "Next time I guess, sorry."