ROCKY

I watched the latest Rocky movie quite awhile ago. You know Rocky? The American boxer? Anyway, he said this to his son, it goes something like this:

"The world throws the hardest punches at you. Staying down and dodging just shows that you're the coward. Pick yourself up and hit back."

This might not be accurate, like the exact words that were said but you get the gist right?

Anyway, like I always say, chin up and be strong. You never lose until YOU say you do.

twistedshaft.

Flashbacks

a cold rush of blood to the head caught me off guard
a lonely lost mind wandering around aimlessly
visiting a place that I had left behind
a place that wanted to be forgotten

thankfully, reason and reality pulled me out
saving me one more time
to suppress the beast within
for another day

i guess no ones perfect
nothing cut so deep before
can be carved out so cleanly
the surgery's a working progress

twistedshaft.

Last Words

LAST WORDS

"I’m an asswipe, a jackass, a bastard, an idiot, a loser, a lover, a dream, a hope, a fear, a moment;

A man without a conscience, a boy without dreams, a kid without a toy, a monster without teeth, a person without life, a heart without love.

I kiss and I hug, I whisper and I scream, I cry and I laugh, I hate and am hated, I love but am not loved.

So you ask me why, after all this, you should love me.

And I say it’s because I love you damn it.

I love you."

These were my last words, my last resort, my last ditch attempt to turn the tides.

But I guess I never had the chance to use this last trump or maybe I had walked past it without even noticing.

As the sights i see sink like knives, I know that I must end it, before it finally consumes me and we reach the point of no return.

There was so much I still had to say, still had to ask, still had to do, but I guess its too late now. Your ship has set sail, leaving me at the steps of the harbor.

I should thank you, for all you've done, all you've endured. Thank you for accommodating me, sparing a thought for me. Thank you.

Now I shall take my place, step back into the crowd and hopefully stay as your friend. One who will always have your back and care for your well being.

You have a good one.

And smile more, cause you look your best when you do.

Your friend,

twistedshaft.

FOR YOU

FOR YOU who is feeling down.

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow,
Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

I hope this helps. Keep your chin up and stay strong.

"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. "

~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

4 more days:) Take care of yourself till then.

twistedshaft.

The way you make me feel

The Way You Make Me Feel

I think yesterday And all the times I spent being lonely
I watched the young be young
While all the singers sung
About the way I felt
The days are here again
When all the lights go down,
What do they show me?
The rules are all the same
It's just a different game To tell you how I feel
Although it seems so rare I was always there

I can't stop digging the way you make me feel
I can't stop digging the way
I can't stop digging the way you make me feel

I took a little time
Scripting all the things that I tell you
I'll send them through the mail
And if all goes well
it'd be a day or two
I spent some extra nights
Trying to forget the things that I've shown you
By now the smoke is cleared
And all along I feared
It would turn out this way
Though it might be wrong
My light is always on

Look at us now
Ask me, how did this get so
I'll show you how
Got my shoes on the ground
But I'm taking em' off (taking em' off)
And I'm ready to walk, yeah

I can't stop digging the way you make me feel

McFly

Though it might be wrong
My light is always on

twistedshaft.

Why so many song lyrics?

WHY SO MANY SONG LYRICS?

A question someone had asked me.

Well, I feel that songs are very powerful instruments that we seldom take to mind. Many abstract themes are expressed through many songs of today and all it takes to further appreciate the effort and talent of the artist is to gaze deeper into the song, its lyrics. By achieving that, you will slowly start to realize that music is more than just the tune created by the notes, it is the marriage of notes and lyrics.

Personally, I feel that sometimes the lyrics of a song can express how I feel even better than I can describe with my own words.

Take time to read and appreciate the lyrics I post. Who knows? You might feel the same.

twistedshaft.

Thoughts

THOUGHTS

As I gaze at the battle below,
The situation appears grim.
I will not last the next wave,
I guess its time to sound the retreat.

As the match draws to a close,
I call for time.
The team huddles together,
"Heart, Mind and Soul. I think its time to take the bench."

My eyes,
Why gaze so.
Vinegar for blood,
Flow through my veins.

If its for the best,
For your best,
I'll take the bullet.

O, happy dagger.

twistedshaft.

Breathing

Breathing

I'm finding my way back to sanity, again
Though I don't really know what
I am gonna do when I get there
Take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back in the arms of grace

I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside Heaven's door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be

I am looking past the shadows
Of my mind into the truth and
I'm trying to identify
The voices in my head
God, which one's you?
Let me feel one more time
What it feels like to feel
And break these calluses off me
One more time

'Cause I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside your door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be

I don't want a thing from you
Bet you're tired of me waiting
For the scraps to fall
Off your table to the ground
I just want to be here now

Lifehouse.

twistedshaft.

Apology

TO WHO IT CONCERNS

I'm sorry for that moment of awkwardness today. Its been in my wallet for so long. Forgot to remove it. Who would've guessed though? All that from 3 words?

once again,

I'm sorry.

twistedshaft.

Can never shake this

CAN NEVER SHAKE THIS

To who it might concern, I am sorry, truly. I wish i could tell you all this personally, but chances are so minimal they might even be non-existent. Therefore, I must write this all down. In hope that they will finally let my mind rest.

The question of:
What if?
Meaningless yes, but i can't seem to shun these thoughts of what could have been.

Question flood my head every moment of my day.

What did i do wrong?
Everything was going fine wasn't it?
What went wrong?
Maybe I was too hasty?
A tad bit rash?
How did I not match up?
Why didn't it work?
Is it just me?
......

So many loose ends. questions unanswered.

There isn't a moment I don't wish for a restart button that i could push. Maybe i could change everything. Undo all i had done. Then all these questions could disappear and leave my troubled mind. Wishful thinking.

I guess this world isn't fully made of logic with all these anomalies floating about in the pool of life. The unexplained. Questions without answers. I guess life just isn't easy. An uneven road ridden with treacherous traps and setbacks. I can't seem to be able to see a safe path through this. All I can do is climb hill after hill, hoping to see my destination over the next hill.

I guess it was fun while it lasted. Unfortunately, everything had to be short-lived.

It has changed. I miss it. Miss the times. Now all thats left to remember are the unanswered questions and thoughts of what ifs.

Hoping that one day i'll find my answers,

twistedshaft.

Sinking deeper into the ground

SINKING DEEPER

As inter-band issues take their place in my ever growing weight above me, I exert myself to keep myself standing. Looking to the ground for help i dig my feet deep. With the ground giving no response, i sink deeper into the slowly forming pit.

I guess everyone's different. We all think differently, act differently, like different things. Sure you might say a band should think as one and support one another, but i guess this doesn't hold true for all band of brothers. Maybe this is why bands dissolve in the end.

An analogy,

Two rivals. Who compete in different subject examinations on different days.
Rival one realizes he has forgotten to bring a pen for his examination and approaches rival two to borrow one. Rival two knows clearly that he does not have need of a pen on that day because his examination falls on another day. By refusing to lend his rival a pen he could well have won the competition, but by lending the pen he could jeopardize his chance of being the best.

Would you lend you pen if you were Rival two?

I don't understand why rivals can't shake hands and help each other. I mean if you want to win that badly, do it on an equal playing field. At least then you can say you really won the battle fair and square.

Is lending a hand to OHM and playing for them really that unacceptable? To me, this isn't a question of loyalty. CALM is still first priority for me. What i am doing is a mere favor to OHM. Helping out a fellow band. Taking a chance to gather more performing experience before our actual gig. Is that unacceptable? Unworthy of your support?

Sigh...guess i'll never understand what they hold against my friends in OHM.

twistedshaft.

To You

TO YOU

Dear reader,

I'd like to say that what you have read from before, well, it is kinda outdated. It being late May already.

Well, since i might have a new audience, i might consider adding more dated entries to my small meager collection.

Well, stay posted. I promise one by this weekend at least, maybe earlier if i find the time.

Nothing too deep. Bits and pieces of me. What i'm thinking about. How i think. Random thoughts. Relevant thoughts.

Immerse yourself, into my world, my mind.

twistedshaft.