After choir practice today, my close friends and I rushed across the road to watch a rock cum dance charity concert, Lumos '09. We got there during the intermission and thankfully, all the good acts hadn't gone up yet. Got to listen to Finding Michelle, Redeeming the Riot, Timothy Ip, Hartono and many more performers. They were really good, especially Hartono. Everyone is improving so much musically leaving us in their tracks. Listening to Hartono live was, hard to admit, pretty good. Made me want to improve so much more musically to catch up to him. But with school and cca in the way, its pretty hard to find solid time to hone my skills. Oh well, step by step, I'll get there.
It felt pretty nostalgic to be across the road again. Not just looking across every morning, but actually being in the place. I didn't see you in the crowd. Figured you wouldn't be interested anyway. It was a rock concert. Plus, it was on a Friday night, you'd probably need the sleep.
I was observing all the concert go-ers who were there leaving for home or for supper. When I saw everyone slowly pairing up, feelings of hopelessness started seep into me. I saw band members of various bands, all having someone who'll congratulate them on a good performance regardless of how good it really was. I missed it. I began to think back on a past performance I did where you were there to wish me the best before and congratulate me after I had sung. It's this small act, just a few words, that made the performance so insignificant. All I needed were those words. However, at this point of time, even words are hard to come by, much less encouragement or congratulation.
I feel hopeless, needy.
Singing, song-writing and performing run on inspiration.
I've lost that.
You.
twistedshaft.
03/04/09
i need to get back what i've lost, i need closure.
